last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
