Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
