I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
