Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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