And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
