I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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