I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
