no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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