I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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