Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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