So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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