he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
