I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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