when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
