Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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