And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
