The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
