I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
