just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
A+ Viking dick
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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