So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Even my vagina gasped.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
