Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
