is this the sara with the beer cane?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
