maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
