my vag is so smooth its legendary
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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