I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
id be glad to
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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