Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
