He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
