why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Vodka?
Forever.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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