Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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