I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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