ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
