You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
