i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
