why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
