and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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