Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Randomize
