dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
