i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
