I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm at about main and main street
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
