i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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