real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
