Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
