I wish I only lived at night.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
