Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
