I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
