he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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