umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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