Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
