Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Drunk is not a location!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
