Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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