Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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