Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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