my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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