i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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