I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
