It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
