did you get engaged???
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
