I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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