Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
